This week's assholes...

I figure that for the few, if any people out there that are going to read my musings, I should offer some continuity...

...each Wednesday, I am going to offer to you my listing of assholes for the week. Now I want to put out there what an asshole is, for those who may think that they know what an asshole is. An asshole is someone is more than capable of knowing better, and in many cases does know better, and regardless of this does something assinine. The guy making the right from the left lane is not always an asshole - though more often than not they are...

Anyway, let's get started with the assholes for this week...

Bode Miller - look, I have said this before and I will say it again, we all KNEW this guy was an asshole before the Olympics, but his parting words from Torino solidfied his spot in asshole lore.

You went to the Olympic games to "rock"? What the fuck? People spend their whole lives trying to make the Olympics, you actually make it, and your only goal is to "rock"? And people wonder why Americans are viewed as arrogant throughout the world...

George W. Bush - where to start? Gee, I don't know, how about saying that there is nothing wrong with the United Arab Emirates running our ports? Are we daring the terrorists with this one?

But that is not what makes him an asshole. The likelihood that Bush is getting something under the table for this shit is what makes him an asshole - you are willing to spy on every American's phone calls, and then you turn around and allow an Arab nation to run our ports? Yeah, REAL smart...

Michelle Kwan - who once more out did Miller as the biggest jerk off of this year's Winter Games. You can go back to my post earlier to find out why I think she is a schmuck, but to add insult to supposed injury, she is now going to be part of a skating tour that is going across America in the next month or so.

Recap, got a free pass to the Olympics at the cost of another QUALIFIED skater, pulled out because of an injury, and now is inked for a skating tour around the country...

Major Asshole.

Howard Stern - who this week has been slapped with a 1/2 billion dollar lawsuit by CBS who alledges that Stern breached their contract by hyping his move to Sirius Radio...

Stern's response is that CBS is trying to bully him. Yeah, that worked in 1985 when NBC was trying their hardest to stifle your creativity, and we all felt for you, then. This is different because as some one who actually listens to your show, I know that you spent the last year berating Clear Channel (whom I believe is CBS' radio affiliate) as trying to hold you down, and the same shit we have heard for twenty years.

The victim schtick is old - REAL old.

Howard, you are an asshole because you have failed to look beyond that schnoz of yours and see the bigger picture in this instance. It is not necessarily your job to care about CBS, and the fact that K-Rock SUCKS in NYC now, but is there any reason in the world why you needed to beat the shit out of them as you left? Did you REALLY need to advertise repeatedly that you were going to Sirius, which was free advertising for Sirius via the station that you were leaving?

What you did would be the equivalent of spending company time on writing a resume and interviewing, and then LEAVING and taking all of the said company's accounts with you. You are an asshole by virtue of the fact that you have no sense of humility. You won out when you inked that deal, and then you screwed CBS harder by advertising the competition.

You are wrong this time, but I am sure that the court will bail you out of this one, as 1/2 billion dollars is somewhat insane...

Anna Nicole Smith, et. al. - the son of the old coot that Smith married is a millionaire unto himself, and Smith is making money that I will never see in my lifetime. Watching these two fight it out is the most aggravating experience I have ever endured.

You two are BOTH assholes - split the money and shut the fuck up already...

Martha Stewart - I HATE "the Donald", but he is dead on with what he did, and he is spot on with being indignant about it. Martha Stewart should be counting every blessing in the world that she is even able to be on television and make money after what she did with her stock. Now, when asked about her show tanking, she blames someone else?

And I guess I should not be surprised based on her legal defense last year.

The reality is that Stewart is fucking boring - REALLY boring. Like the library teacher most everyone had in elementary school. The advertising for her daytime show manages to bore me in the 20 seconds it lasts - who on Earth would want to watch her on prime time television?

Martha, sometimes it is YOUR fault in life, you asshole...


And that about does it for this week. Thankfully, there is never a deficientcy of assholes on the planet, so I am sure I will have content for this next week...